So instead of going camping this weekend, I went to one of the more horrendous "party" experiences known to mariokind. It was an 11am protein bar/energy drinks party hosted by our dear neighbor Crystal. Crystal is the largest neighbor known to me and also the most active seller of health related products and services. Just a few weeks ago, the entire building was plastered with posters of Crystal trying to convince us neighbors to give her personal trainer a shot. He apparently worked out of a trailer (mobile personal trainer) and according to Crystal's quote he trains others with sheer phenomenal success. No comment. Anyway, I came back from the grocery store and as I walking by Crystal's apartment, Mark rushed out of the door trying to convince me to come to the party. He promised cute girls, great food and fun times all around. So off to the party I went. And I never should have. Walking into Crystal's apartment, I was greeted by a loud and obnoxious guy wearing a t-shirt resembling an energy bar. He was seated on a chair in the middle of the room. Sitting in a circle around him were Mark, our non-speaking english speaking chinese neighbor guy, Crystal's roommate and her boyfriend. Crystal (wearing a dress shirt with her sweat pants) came speeding towards me and immediately handed an awful tasting inch of blueberry/cappuccino energy bar. Yuck. I had to get out of there as fast as possible. A few words about the audience. Our chinese neighbor shows up to just about any apartment-wide function without ever understanding a word. Wouldn't surprise me if he showed up for the painters' lunch break. Crystal's roommate is actually pretty cute, but her boyfriend is a complete dork. He was actually wearing dress shirts and pants, while he kept rattling down his knowledge of raspberry flavored energy drinks. All together it was just an awful setting. I stuck around for another 5 minutes, told the chinese kid that he could visit us at anytime and excused myself because I accidentally had put a wool sweater in the dryer. To this late hour, I still don't understand how Mark went to this party in the first place. I finally got a red pair of sneakers. Actually, they are red/silver and very shiny. If it wasn't for my terrible dress style, one might get the wrong impression.