too much ice cream cake

We had two birthdays at work today, which translated into a giant ice cream cake party. Ok, here is the thing with me and ice cream cake. I either don't eat any, or I am the guy who walks away with a major stomach ache caused by three-plus pieces of cake. Well, today was one of those three-plus days. It's only 7pm and I feel like I have been up for several days, eating continously. I just installed another gig of ram into my ibook at home. It's sweet and super fast now. Without the frustation of a slow machine, I'll be able to spend even more time online. Pretty soon I will need no social interaction whatsoever. I went to a Jack Johnson concert this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. But performing in front of thousands of screaming girls sounds quite appealing. The problem is that I really don't have any talents that are of any public interest. I am really good at carrying groceries while riding a bike. My mother thinks that I am funny. And I believe to have had signs of talents in playing frisbee golf. How do I turn this into some sort of multi-million dollar public performance operation?