david who?

My mother sent me a video that’s all about my hometown in Germany; its traditions, its history, its beauty, its festivals and its people. As I (near teary-eyed) am sitting on my couch watching this video, I am already listing in my head all the people who I’ll show this to. What a great way to show where I was born and what my childhood memories consisted of.

Then it happens. About 10 minutes into the video. Right in the midst of some local open-air festival, this lady wearing a tank top, dancing passionately, lifts her arms pits and there it is. Fr㴬ein armpit hair.

Fr㴬ein…why are you doing this to me? I’ve spent a near decade trying to convince young American males that 99% of all German girls shave their arm pits. And now this. My life’s work destroyed in front of my eyes, documented on some video that carries my hometown’s name on it.

A part of me wants to keep fighting. But then there is a part of me that just wants to give up. How can I win when German propaganda is being sent around the world by own mother. Who are my allies anymore? Who can I trust? And why would anyone still listen to me?

Hence, I’ve decided to fully commit myself to a different cause. A battle as challenging as any but with a much bigger purpose:

David Hasselhoff is not big in Germany. Not now and not in 1989.

2 Comments

  1. Anonymous March 24, 2006 at 2:47 pm

    This is your funniest entry yet – the irony is that the girl is probably an American tourist! but hold on now – Hasselhoff isn’t popular in Germany?!?!? What?!? You’re kidding, right? I thought the Hasselhoff was popular EVERYWHERE and I refuse to believe anything differently – you’ll never convince me he isn’t almost a god in Germany – next you’ll tell me that you don’t all wear liederhosen every weekend! Stop breaking down my stereotypes!

  2. Anonymous March 24, 2006 at 4:36 pm

    1. I don’t believe your Hasselhoff lie for a second.
    2. Don’t forget that not only do women not shave their armpits, the men do shave their armpits.
    3. Happy late birthday. I did think of it on your actual birthday, but i was too lazy to tell you.