heather and ryan

Time to write about some of my neighbors. As you might know, right next door live the twins from Nebraska. They are living with a couple, Heather and Ryan. Heather and Ryan are getting married in a couple of months. Tonight I was hanging out in the twins’ apartment and the upcoming wedding is somewhat concerning me.

Here are few reasons why:

– Heather and Ryan are going through pre-marriage counseling right now. Heather told their counselor that if Ryan doesn’t get promoted for a few years, she’d definitely consider leaving him. After jump-starting her career (she works in a pet store right now), Heather would possibly allow Ryan to move in with her again.

– Heather and Ryan were sitting next to each other on the couch. Ryan didn’t say a word in my 2-hour presence. Every time, he did try to say something Heather reminded him that she was talking. And that she was.

– Heather told me very openly that they decided to not have sex anymore until they get married. Ryan quietly whispered, “Yeah right…our decision?”

– Heather is still trying to get Ryan to take on her name after she they get married. For some reason, having the last name “Stiefel” wouldn’t sound appealing to me either.

– Heather had a few drinks and she started talking about “the second best guy” she ever met. She told Ryan to put on his earmuffs, and he actually did.

– Ryan got up, went on the balcony and lit a cigarette. Heather told him to f… off, threw his pillow and blanket on the living room floor and slammed the bedroom door.

Ryan, run while you still can.