Every year, I think about doing a triathlon. And every year, I decide against it. Misguidedly, after running a marathon, I feel like competing in anything but a full-fledged Ironman would be a disappointment. My thinking is that if I can already run for 26 miles; how hard could it be to swim the additional 2.4 and bike 112 miles. So I go and choose a race (Ironmans are far and few in between), backward schedule a training plan against it and then buy a monthly pass for the local pool. I throw on my goggles and quickly learn there is no way that I can swim for even .24 miles. I get out of the pool and leave my triathlon thoughts behind. Swimming shouldn’t be my only concern, as I have never biked more than 50 miles and my current bicycle falls into the “beach cruiser” category. Hence, thanks to a healthy mix of overconfidence and incompetence, I have opted against doing a triathlon in both 2004 and 2005.
Here we go again. It’s the year 2006, I feel completely underchallenged by my lethargic workout routine. I am also in terrible shape, thanks to a month of health-related hard liquor habits in China. And once again, I am toying with the thought of competing in a triathlon. But this time, I am willing to settle for a half-Ironman, or quite possibly even the Olympic distance.
Here are my choices:
• September 2, Umpqua Ultimate Half Iron in Sutherlin, Oregon
• September 2, Titanium Man Road Bike Triathlon in Kennewick, Washington
• September 10, Big Kahuna Triathlon, Santa Cruz, California
• September 10, Duke Half Iron Distance, Raleigh, N.C.
• September 17, Harvest Moon Long Course Triathlon, Aurora, CO
• October 1, Fountain Man Triathlon in Mesa, AZ
• October 1, South Carolina Half Iron Distance, Greenwood, SC
• October 29, Soma Half Ironman Triathlon in Tempe AZ
If you live near any of these places, drop me an email. The same holds true if anyone is up for a weeklong road trip in a convertible.* I’m either going to compete locally, or turn this into a very fun trip. Either way, 2006 is the year to compete in a Triathlon. No matter what.
* Only respond if you actually drive a convertible.**