keep the windows closed

When people normally hear me talk about my neighbor, they remember words such as quiet, calm, nice, etc. While I still think the kid is a nice guy, I am hereby taking back the quiet and calm part. Here’s why.

Having guests in town, I’ve opted to give up my bed and settled to sleep on my new futon right next to my window. Exactly…that’s just the kind of guy I am.

At four in the morning last Sunday night, I was suddenly awoken by some obnoxious female visitor of my neighbor’s.  She had decided to sit herself next to an open window and explain to my neighbor, myself and probably quite a few people in the neighborhood why she had so much fun that night. What she didn’t recognize was that I was desperately trying to fall asleep just a few feet away from her. I shut my windows, calmed down Otto, put in some ear plugs and did just that.

Tuesday night…things were a bit different. I woke up at four in the morning once again, but this time to the sounds of Bob Marley. Oh great, my neighbor is having a girl over again. Right?

Wrong. Yes, my neighbor was listening to Bob Marley but the girls was standing right in front of my window, doing some sort of of post-bar stretches. Rather than trying to shut my windows, I tried to avoid having a heart attack. It has to be just about everyone’s worst nightmare to wake up and there’s some stranger standing next to your bed. Otto also didn’t like it, as he was racing up and down the window sill while making weird noises.

It took me a couple of minutes to recognize that this oddly shaped woman was not trying to break into my apartment. As a matter of fact, she hadn’t quite recognized that she was standing in front of a window, only a few feet away from a very-scared young gentleman trying to hide in his sleeping bag.

This gentleman ( now talking in third person – dressed in nothing but boxer shorts) got up, opened the window and quietly informed the lady that it was inappropriate for her to be walking around on the roof. At four in the morning. She stopped stretching, almost fell over, didn’t say a word and then disappeared back into my neighbor’s apartment. My neighbor stepped to the window and apologized profusely for the fact the he didn’t see his date walk out of his living room window. No big deal. I lose track of girls in my apartment all the time.

Regardless, I am looking forward to be back in my bed. In the meantime, I’ll keep the windows closed.