I’m in Shenzhen right now, which is some sort former special economic zone in Southern China. From the look out of my hotel window, it appears to be a nice place. For some reason, I always get hotel rooms on top floor (in this case 27th), which usually results into 15-minute elevator rides. I am not sure why elevators are so slow around here, but based on the speed and comfort of the ascent I assume that a group small Chinese men located on the rood is pulling that box skyward.

This is old China. People living, cooking and breeding in the streets and I’m literally the only white person around here. While before I might have been the only white guy who didn’t speak Chinese, now I am the only one, period. People stare at me like I walked straight off the cover of Rolling Stones magazine. All the menus are completely in Chinese, which is only going to add to my list of accidental animal consumptions such as turtles and pigeons. Great.

The only thing that I can safely order around here are massages. So there isn’t a body part that hasn’t been rubbed in Shengzen. If I wasn’t sleeping on a piece of wood with a bed sheet over it, my body would be in a state of total relaxation.

The other day this masseuse took off her shoes, jumped on the massage table and started walking all over my back. All while singing Chinese folks songs. Heaven. Truth be told, my next girlfriend is going to have to be able to do that. I could care less about the chinese folk songs, even thought that would be a nice bonus. Needless to be said, I’m in love.

Don’t get me wrong, massages still are a rather awkward engagement for me around here. You are brought into a small private room, where the TV is always playing “America’s Funniest Home Videos” and then a masseuse comes and rapidly fires chinese language at you. I usually just shake my head and then the show begins. I am not sure why, but the masseuse continues to speak to me in Chinese throughout the entire two hours. And I don’t understand a word. I shake my head and smile. She giggles and on we go. That’s how it goes.