In yet another groundbreaking move towards adulthood, I decided to become a member of the Oregon Zoo. More specifically, they now refer to me as a Zoo4TwoPlusler around our local giraffe habitat. Choosing the Zoo4TwoPlus membership is also the next step and expected evolution in Jen’s and my relationship. While the Individual Plus membership is the much better deal economically ($15 less), the Zoo4TwoPlus membership is the first luxury purchase decision that we made as a couple. $74. That Jen should be paying for our Blazers’ season tickets next year comes without saying. More importantly that extra sixth of a hundred bucks will be used to feed Portland’s elephants and other fine species such as naked mole rats, who I actually suspect to be from the same lineage as Jen’s dog Gilbert.

Please let me know the next time you’re in town, and we’ll head up to the zoo. My treat. Just as long as you can look like a very tan, 5.2ft brunette. Here’s what you got to look forward to.